UNTIL NOW?

semalam, dengan penuh rasa berharap saya tido lewat. lepak atas katil sambil dengar lagu "HERO" by mariah carey (; pegang handphone harap ada msg dari dia, tp sayang harapan tetap tinggal harapan. last msg yang saya hantar dekat dia pagi kelmarin dalam pukul 11 lebih. but until now dia senyap & diam seribu bahasa. tell me what my fault? what should i do? rindu dah semakin menebal, tangan dah mula gatal nak dail nombor dia, tp saya segan, malu kalau2 dia cakap acuh x acuh jea. tapi biarkanlah dulu, mungkin awak perlu masa. ambillah sebanyak mana masa yang awak perlu. saya tunggu. bye.

bad mood.

huh! kelmarin ponteng sehari tak pegy sekolah ;D boring duduk rumah jea. 24jam ngadap menatang nih, HAHA. lain pulak kesah seorang mamat nih. rajin pulak dia pegy sekolah. hmmm, biasa kalau aku tak pegy, dia mula lah ambil kesempatan tanak pegy jugak, HAHA. *dah berubah kot exm dah dekat ;DDD ok dah tutup cerita pasal tuh. kesah kelamarin jugak, lepas habis sekolah, hajat dihati nak text mamat tuh tapi, hati cakap biarkan dulu, kejap2 lagi pun boleh. bukan hilang pun. then saya teruskanlah meng-online-kan diri & ber-blogging sampai lah maghrib *stop kejap pegy mandi. pukul 7.45 saya call jugak mamat tuh *terketar2 jgk, tkt menganggu. eh eh, dia angkat. saya mula bercakap, pot pet pot pet. terdetik kat hati, dia mcm layan tanak layan jea, hmmm :c sebelum saya tekan button merah (end) sempat saya pesan, "kita text ok?" dia cakap. "haa text? oh okay" *mcm tanak jea kan? but nevermind, tank fikir negatif. lepas 15minit, saya text dia, "tgh wat gapo? bleh msg skrng?" dia balas "duk beli nasi.bleh" then saya teruskan "oh okay, nak tanya, awk boring doh nga saya?" dia balas lagi, "xtau jgk, bkpo?" YA ALLAH! tak pernah dia balas cmtu. sabar2. saya teruskan lagi, "sy nk tau jah, uyap lah." dia balas, "kito kecek lain kali lah sal nih" hadoi, luruh jantung aku. saya msg dia lagi "bkpo g2? uyap lah, saya nak tau." last rply from him "kito kecek lain kali lah, pening palo etep." saya tak nak paksa dia, saya balas "ok, sory paksa. saya nmpk kita jauh skrg, tkt awk tawar hati jea" and dia x reply2 smpai lah sekarang. perit weh rasa cmni!

imissyou.

Friday, 30 oktober 2009, 05:55 p.m

im not lucky woman.

GOD! i don't know what i'm thinking now. i'm accepted whatever i got from You. i was felt that happinese & sadness in my life. i'm never blame my bad fate on anybody. i'm just me & can't be another person (: i guess i'm the best woman for him, but the reality i'm not. i'm trying to be a good person in his life, but he's not appreciate it. sometimes, everyone think that i'm HAPPY and FINE but look a little closer, u'll see tears in my eyes. oh GOD! You know that, how much i need him to complete inside my soul. if i lost him, means i lost everything i have. i promise you that i will stand right by your side forever and always. please, don't go! stay with me until the that i die.

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